CPA = crap piece of ass

 approximately the past six months of my life (shat give me my life back) have been consumed by this little test known as the cpa. actually it's not even one test. it's freakin four + a take-home so i feel shafted when i get ONE certification for this whole damn ordeal.  finding motivation to study after work when all i want to do is sit on my bed and watch my junk programs has been an uphill battle. this might explain the dark circles under my eyes..they keep getting darker!  this bane of my existence has deprived me of what little social life i previously had. why am i torturing myself again?

other than the fact that it is tied to some extra $$$ (which i've already spent..yikes), i don't really know why i'm taking it. people have told me that i will be set for life after i get certified, but i'm not really sure how that will be the case. i don't really want to work in this industry for the rest of my life. i'm definitely not going to be opening up my own cpa practice. on the flip side, i guess it is too early to say where i will end up in 10 years. who knows. maybe i'll end up a partner..yeaa hell no

it seems to be the norm nowadays to have more than just a bachelors. you're somehow underachieving if you only have one degree because EVERYONE has at least a masters. i feel like that underachiever. i only have a bachelors and i guess i'll eventually have those 3 little initials but i want another degree damnit. does that sound ridiculous? i've thought about this for awhile now, but there seems to be no solution.  my most logical options are b school or l school. after working for almost a year, i've discovered that i am not really cut out for this corporate crap. i'm a "meets expectations" employee and dont' really feel the desire to go above and beyond. horrible i know. b school is more of a networking bubble anywayss and schmoozing networker i am not. moving on to l school. while i love me some l&o:svu and most court-related dramas, i figure l school would probably lead to more corporate-ness. even longer hours although more $$$ but not worth it to me because i don't like it enough like candice.

so what's a girl to do? who the hell knows..i guess no one really does.  i should just be thankful i have a job.

exciting. please let's play after i am DONE.

wtf moment of the day

location: starbucks on wilshire & highland

I went to grab a cup of my usual starbucks doubleshot before i started studying and the following conversation took place after I told him my name for the order:

Ignorant Cashier: Oh you look like a Cindy

Co-worker: You say that to everyone

IC: yeah i do haha..but i find it funny when asian people have white names

Me: (in my head still processing) wait..WHAT DID HE JUST SAY!??

IC: So what's your "REAL" name?

Me: uh WHAT. my REAL name is Cindy.

IC: Well because my asian friends have their American names that they use and then they have their real names.

Me: NO. It's CINDY (in my head) ignorant f@cking dumbaaslkfdjddskfjl and more expletives

Now I understand that he was probably just an ignorant moron clueless of all the crap that was coming out of his mouth, but I don't think that makes his racist comments excusable.  I was left pretty speechless as I replayed that scene over and over in my head..someone actually said those words...Too bad I wasn't feeling confrontational enough to make a big scene while I was there, but believe me, the first thing I did when I got home was write a lengthy complaint to Starbucks. freakin ridiculous.

i just spent the past 30 minutes perusing my old xanga entries and comments..

i cracked up at some of them, and cringed at most..but it was still a good time looking back at everything i had done the past couple of years. i should start xanga-ing againn.

question

how can two people God put together be so incompatible?

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always misunderstandings. no communication. only veiled mutterances of hateful words.

i hate you. you hate me.

it's your fault. no it's YOUR fault.

why can't you be more like her? try harder.

through all the silence, i wonder if she hears my heart break.

impossible